I am a working single mother; my son is three years old. He's in a half-day Pre-Nursery program in the morning, and my mother takes care of him until I return from work in the evening. He is a hyeractive boy, and sometimes he behaves so badly: using bad words, throwing toys at the other children, etc. I give him my full attention when I'm home. How should I address his behavior--to make it stop for good? --Shehla
Hello Shehla,
They say it's terrible twos but most often three years old can be the most difficult time, as your son is testing you. My daughter tried every ounce of my patience at that time as well, I just had to keep reminding myself that four is glorious.
Marva Collins has a couple of books that are amazing parenting resources. Values: Lighting The Candle Within, A Practical Guide For The Family, has been so helpful for me and for my husband. Marva's approach is using positive psychology even for punishments! She gives practical advice and examples that can be immediately applied in your life. We have it on audio and listen to it in the car. My daughter now knows that she is too wonderful and bright to be naughty. (And I do have to remind her all the time.)
It takes practice everyday to break the cycle. There are always trying moments when you or he are sick, tired, hungry, or lonely. Everybody has the potential to be patient and loving, including your child. It takes a child one million times of hearing something for it to take permanent effect in their behavior.
Think about how many times a day you are asking your child to chew with their mouth closed or put a napkin on their lap, say please, thank you, brush your teeth, etc. For your child every day is a new opportunity for you to be the best parent, they don't hold on to yesterday, don't bring it up. All you have to do is be the best person that you can be in every moment.
Tips:
1. Take a break--even if you put yourself on a time out when you lose it--your child will appreciate the break, too.
2. Make a list of 3-5 house rules--talk about them in weekly family meetings.
3. Listen to calming music.
4. Take a walk--when your little one is physically tired, they will be more relaxed--same goes for you.
5. Listen to Marva Collins she is AMAZING!
